Raat yun dil mein teri

January 11, 2006 at 3:27 pm 26 comments

Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Listen

Raat yun dil mein teri, khoyi hui yaad aayi
Jaise viraane mein chupke se bahaar aa jaye
Jaise sahraon mein haule se chale baad-ae-naseem
Jaise bimaar ko be-wajaah quraar aa jaaye

Here is a translation by Vikram Seth> (courtesy Aditya Johri)

Last night your faded memory came to me
As in the wilderness spring comes quietly,
As, slowly, in the desert, moves the breeze,
As, to a sick man, without cause, comes peace.

(da black mamba reads the poem)

[blackmamba]

Entry filed under: Black Mamba, Faiz Ahmed Faiz, Urdu. Tags: .

Mujh Se Pheli Si Muhabbat A Walk After Dark

26 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Falstaff  |  January 16, 2006 at 5:42 pm

    nice. But I don’t approve of the Seth translation – the first line is terrible (Shahid, if memory serves, renders it ‘Last night my lost memory of you returned’) and Seth converts what is a slow and moving lyric into something twee and fragmented. I especially hate the fact that he mauls the rhyme scheme of the original – I wouldn’t mind blank verse, but this aabb rhyme pattern is just totally dissonant with the abcb of the original.

    Reply
  • 2. The Black Mamba  |  January 17, 2006 at 11:01 am

    Agreed. Seth’s translation has its issues.

    There was a reason I chose this over Shahid’s version. I simply cannot bring myself to like the second line.

    “and I was like the empty field where springtime,
    without being noticed, is bringing flowers;”

    Somewhat contrived, don’t you think?

    Except for that one line, I did like Agha Shahid Ali’s version better. And here it is,

    “At night my lost memory of you returned

    and I was like the empty field where springtime,
    without being noticed, is bringing flowers;

    I was like the desert over which
    the breeze moves gently, with great care;

    I was like the dying patient
    who, for no reason, smiles.”

    Reply
  • 3. Falstaff  |  January 17, 2006 at 4:14 pm

    BM, hmmm..see what you mean, though I still think the Shahid version is much better. IF only he hadn’t stretched the second part of that first line so much – I mean what’s with all the brings flowers stuff – all he really needs is:

    and I was like the empty field
    Where spring arrives unnoticed.

    Reply
  • 4. Primalsoup  |  March 16, 2006 at 6:44 pm

    Searching for the said verse got me here. Even if I sound gushing like, that is a pretty neat Blog. I had no clue that there was such a thing as audio Blogging.
    I have myself been partial to the Seth translation of it (if one must translate at all!). Though hearing Nayyara Noor really shoul do just as well!

    Reply
  • 5. Bilal Abdul Mujeeb  |  May 26, 2006 at 1:45 pm

    Can you tell me the url to listen to this poem by Faiz sung by Nayyara Noor? I am searching for thins song.

    Reply
  • 6. blackmamba  |  May 26, 2006 at 8:14 pm

    check this out
    http://www.aligarians.com/audio/raat yun dil mein – Nayyara Noor.mp3

    from aligarians.

    Reply
  • […] [1] Raat Yun Dil Mein Teri [2] Paon se Lahoo Ko Dho Dalo [3] Aur Bhi Gham Hain Zamaane Mein [4] Jinhe Zurm-e-ishq Pe Naaz Tha […]

    Reply
  • 8. pō’ĭ-trē » Jinhe zurm-e-ishq pe naaz tha  |  July 13, 2006 at 12:25 am

    […] Posting poems by Faiz without the translation by Shahid Ali has always sparked interesting discussions on translation( [1], [2], unlike [3]). So here, we have two translations. One by Shahid Ali and the other by Falstaff. Compare, contrast, critique, appreciate… […]

    Reply
  • 9. asma  |  May 8, 2007 at 6:37 am

    Classy

    Reply
  • 10. Talha  |  May 8, 2007 at 6:44 am

    I read this translation in a book that was recently published by Oxford University Press.

    I don’t agree with the translation as well :).

    Reply
  • 11. blackmamba  |  May 8, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    Talha, can you provide the translation here? It would be good to have a different approach to the translation as none of us can agree on one translation as being the best. Each is good only in parts, not in its entirety.

    Reply
  • 12. maliha azhar  |  June 12, 2007 at 11:11 am

    i want this song

    Reply
  • 13. Asif Hossain  |  July 21, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    Maliha, if you want the song of “Raat yun Dil Mein Ter…” then please mail me so that I can forward you this song.

    Reply
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